I’m making no apologies for the title of this post, because
well, if you can’t use the most offensive word in the English language to
describe cancer then what can you use it for! Plus I’m sure that anyone that
has been affected by cancer would agree with me anyway.
So it’s been 5 whole months since I went under the knife and
had my breasts removed. I’m still living with my temporary ‘expander’ implants
which to be honest are really not very fun. The left one has moved so far to
the left that I refer to it as my arm-pit boob! They are completely rock solid
and I still feel quite fragile as if they are knocked it’s like being winded.
It’s difficult because I look completely well and most
people wouldn’t expect such a young woman to have undergone a mastectomy. The
most awkward part is when people that don’t understand go to hug me and I have
to step backwards because it completely knocks the air out of my chest
otherwise. I also find it hard having to ask for help when carrying something
heavy. I used to be so strong and do everything myself but the surgery has
ruined my upper body strength and I hate being a girly girl and having to ask
for men to lift things for me.
On Wednesday I have my pre-op appointment to prepare for my
exchange surgery. I can’t believe it was nearly a year ago that I attended my
first pre-op appointment. In my next surgery a new incision will be made, the
expanders will be removed and permanent implants will be inserted.
I’m nervous for the surgery as it means once again going
under the knife and once again having work done under the chest muscle with is
really painful. Having said that, I am really excited to have soft breasts
again, to have the gigantic gap in-between my breasts improved, and if all goes
well, being finished with surgery!
I had taken a short break from blogging to concentrate on my
new job and take a break from all things breast cancer but life has a funny way
of turning your plans upside down.
A month ago my beautiful half-sister Melissa broke the news
that she once again has breast cancer. This news is absolutely devastating. She
was diagnosed with breast cancer about five years ago and underwent mastectomy
surgery on the affected breast plus intensive chemotherapy. She was really sick
for quite a while but thankfully she beat it. The effects of her treatment
meant she then had to undergo further reconstruction surgery and all of this
was before she was even 30.
At the time of her diagnosis and treatment we didn’t know
about the BRCA link so she was advised not to remove her healthy breast. Five
years on, now that she’s put her life back together, the cancer is back in that
‘healthy breast’. How incredibly unfair.
Thankfully though they are positive that they’ve caught it
early and that she will beat it again.
As if that wasn’t enough, yesterday my lovely auntie told me
that she too has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. She hasn’t got the
BRCA gene and it’s completely unexpected. Thankfully again the prognosis is good as it was caught early. This news just brings it home how real it
all is and how many women it really does affect.
I had a conversation with someone this week who said they
couldn’t believe how much ‘shit I’d been dealt’ but I truly don’t see it like
that. I was given a warning and a chance to change my fate – that makes me the
luckiest girl alive.
Next stop – surgery round 2…bring it on!
