One of the lucky ones

It’s been a while since I've added to my blog, I've been trying to get back to ‘normal’ and used the break in hospital appointments to briefly distance myself from everything BRCA. So let me update you on what’s been happening…

Three weeks ago I attended the breast clinic for my second expander fill procedure and another 100cc was injected into each breast. This extra 100cc has stretched the expanders so much so that I won’t need any further expansion, which is brilliant news and it means that I'm getting close to the end of my reconstruction.

The expanders are doing their job and stretching my tissue but because of this they are absolutely rock solid. They are really uncomfortable and at times painful. I literally feel like someone has glued rocks to my chest and the big numb lumps feel very alien to me. They feel so odd that I've let all my friends, some work colleagues and even my nail lady feel them to understand just how strange they are!

I've got to be honest; I have struggled recently. I can’t hug anyone and I have to sleep propped up on my back. I wake up in pain a few times a night where I've rolled onto my side or my front and the expanders are crushing my ribs. My left boob has shifted a few inches to the left and now sits more under my armpit, which is adding to the discomfort.

I've tried getting back into training but that is proving a little frustrating because as soon as I get back into it I seem to over-do it. On leg day I got competitive and wanted to prove I could squat more than the boys and the day after that I even trained my arms and my back. This left me in a lot of pain and too ill to get out of bed for a few days! I've since had a week away from the gym and will have to take it a lot slower when I go back.

There is light at the end of the tunnel though as I have now been put on the waiting list for exchange surgery! The wait should be between 3 and 4 months for the operation in which a new incision will be made underneath my breasts, the expanders will be removed and nice new squishy permanent implants will inserted. Once that surgery has finished, all being well, I will be able to move on and put all of this behind me. 

I've been really grateful that I have still been able to use my experience to raise awareness and my last hospital appointment was filmed by ITV. A feature was shown on the ITV Anglia news the same week in a really positive and informative piece. My excellent surgeon was kind enough to be featured too. If you missed it you can view it on-line here. 

I've also written an article for Breast Cancer Care’s magazine ‘VITA’ which will be out in April.

Something at my last appointment really put everything into perspective for me. Whilst I was being filmed in the breast clinic waiting room and laughing with the news presenter and press team, a lady sitting opposite made it very obvious she didn't want to be in the shot. She sat there in a headscarf alongside her husband; both looked very anxious waiting for her appointment. An hour later when my appointment and the filming were finished, my boyfriend and I walked back to the car. On the way I saw the same couple in their car, the husband comforting his wife whilst she sobbed. This bought tears to my eyes and just reminded me that not everyone leaves the clinic with good news and not everyone beats cancer. 

I have said it many times and I’ll say it again. I am one of the lucky ones. 

K x