So my boobs are trying to kill me...

I'll start my story on a hot summer's day last July. I'd gone alone to my appointment at Broomfield Hospital's Breast Clinic as I wasn't feeling too concerned about my results. As Emma, the genetic counsellor, delivered the results that I had tested positive for the BRCA2 gene mutation I didn't really know how to react. In fact it's taken nearly a year to know how I feel about it enough to start this blog.

For me, being told I have the BRCA2 gene mutation feels a bit like a half-diagnosis. Yes it does mean that I have an 86% chance of developing breast cancer and over a 40% chance of developing ovarian cancer but day to day it doesn't actually change anything. I'm not ill. I'm not sick. I don't have cancer. I don't want sympathy and ultimately the only thing that has changed is my knowledge of my risk, which I now view as an incredibly good thing.

I think my family's history with breast cancer is a big reason for my lack of panic over my diagnosis. My half-sister was diagnosed in 2010 aged just 30 and a year later my Mum was diagnosed aged 48. Both went through gruelling surgeries, chemotherapy and radiotherapy and suffered greatly through their battles with the disease but happily both are now safety in remission. I think that seeing both my half-sister and Mum survive breast cancer it means to me that I don't automatically view it as a death sentence, although I do realise there are many who aren't as lucky.

The Jolie Gene

Google 'BRCA' or 'breast cancer gene' and you'll undoubtedly find hundreds of articles on Angelina Jolie. I love Angelina and admire greatly what she has done to raise awareness. She's gorgeous, strong and positive but she's hardly someone you can call up for a chat and discuss her fears about Brad seeing her post-mastectomy body. That's one of the reasons why I'm writing this blog.

I hope that by putting my feelings, thoughts and fears out there I help someone else going through the same thing. I'm 27, I'm a bit vain, I have a good career, I'm in a very new relationship, I'm worried what I'll look like in a bikini after my surgery, will it affect my sex-life, will today be the day I feel a lump, will I still feel feminine? I don't have all the answers but if my blog brings a smile to just one person going through something similar then that would make me so happy.

Fight like a girl

Nearly a year on from my news and I'm actually feeling very positive. 1000 women a month die from breast cancer in the UK alone and I'm very lucky that I have been given this warning. I have a choice to save my life before I'm even diagnosed and for that reason I will be undergoing a full double mastectomy in around 6 months time.

Cancer is such a horrible spiteful illness and makes us all feel powerless. The fact that I have a choice makes me feel so empowered. I'm one of the lucky ones and I'm going to fight this like a girl.